The alarm clock rang at 7 am. I turned it off and went back to sleep. It rang again after an hour, 8 am. “It’s Sunday!” That was my first thought.There were only two hours to prepare to go to Sunday Mass in the nearby Catholic Church. Thousand reasons came to my mind, why I didn’t need to go to Mass today. We celebrated my daughter’s birthday yesterday and we had a party that lasted til pass midnight. There were lots of things, including cleaning up, that I still needed to do at home. I told myself that if I say a rosary today, maybe God would understand and exempt me from attending the Mass. Besides, kids were still sleeping and they were tired. Or maybe if I just postpone it and just go to the evening Mass in another church instead, then I would have done all the chores and would be able to worship afterwards. That would be good!
I read in a book once that there are three kinds of selfishness when doing an act of charity; the first type is the one where I give myself the pleasure of pleasing myself; the second is when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others; the third one which is worst, according to the writer, is when you do something good so that you won’t get a bad feeling. You make a sacrifice which you don’t like, so you grumble but not doing it would also give you a bad feeling, so you just do it. “It’s Sunday!” Most Sundays, I would love to wake up early and go to Mass with kids at 10 am, then we would have either breakfast or picnic or would go for shopping or tour somewhere. It’s a kind of a family day. But not this particular Sunday. Sometimes I would struggle just to come out of bed. It’s Sunday! I should be sleeping and resting more, enjoy and relax the whole day. Why do I have to go to Mass anyway? And why does it have to be every Sunday? Why am I doing it? Is it to feel good? Is it to please others, like my kids and friends who would of course think so high of me once they see me in church? Is it out of obligation and so I wouldn’t feel guilty the rest of the week? Is it to please God? I could think of different answers depending on the mood I’m in or how my mind has been conditioned. And the more I think, the more I get confused.
Putting all these things aside, there is something that stirs inside of me. It’s like a tiny voice or intuition that tells me that I should go. Something is pulling me and drawing me to the church, to worship and to adore. I can’t explain it and I can’t reason it out. And I know deep down that I could only feel whole and complete if I obey. So I went to church, taking the public transportation and walked around one kilometer. I came five minutes before the Holy Mass started. Once again I was reminded of why I need to go to Mass. It’s family day with my Father, together with all the angels and saints in heaven. The best part is, that Jesus comes to meet me personally. It’s my date with Jesus! Nothing can compare a quality time spent with Him!
After church, I felt much better and lighter as well!! I felt rejuvenated and fully energized! It’s like drinking an energizer drink! Now, I feel that I can take any challenges that come during the week. God loves me and He will be with me all the time. I’m grateful for the gift of His Real Presence. How could I even think of missing this out? Am I being selfish? Maybe I am, so what?