Lenten Journal – Day 9: Pray and Trust

Esther C: 3-4: “And she prayed to the Lord God of Israel, and said: “O my Lord, thou only art our King; help me, who am alone and have no helper but thee,”

It’s the ninth day of Lent and I’m beginning to miss some of the things that I’m offering to the Lord. Temptations lurk on every corner. But the mind is the battleground where many of my fights occur. My will is tested and my heart is being turned inside out. Doubts and disbelief are my common visitors. Every time I falter, I’m reminded of the reason of why I’m doing these and for whom.

Queen Esther did it for her kinsman; for the whole of Jewish race. So much was her love that she was willing to risk everything, even her life. So much courage that she was able to say, “If I die, then I will die.” – Est. 4:16. And here I am in this season of Lent complaining about trivial matters; some small things and habits I have to give up for the sake of my love ones. I am not even being asked to risk my mortal life like Queen Esther!

Today’s Mass readings is a great reminder when we feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of us; of what is asked or required of us. Like Queen Esther, may I pray like she did, with fervor and courage, and trust in the words of the Lord, ““Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” – Matthew 7:7-11

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