Lenten Journal – Day 40: It’s done!

Reflection on Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

It is done! It’s over! 

The deed of sale of our old house was finally signed and the property income would come in a few weeks time. We had moved to the new apartment, starting all over again from the scratch. I felt sad by loosing our house where we lived for almost 25 years. We didn’t just loose a house but a home where we shared a lot of memories together both happy and painful ones as well. I felt relieved that it was finally over; all the burdens, sorrows and depressions that we had while living in the house. I could finally see some hope in the future. 

“It’s over! There’s nothing that you nor I can do about it, because it’s the law.” These were the words of the judge when the divorce papers where signed in the court. Anyone who has gone through a divorce would know the indescribable feelings and million thoughts that goes through you all at once. 

“The case is close! It’s over!” These were the words of the social worker, together with the family therapist. Two years of therapy, family counseling, visits to psychologist and the social system, has finally ended. I was afraid. The same feelings I had when I finish my driving lessons and was given my license to drive. From then on, I knew I had to drive alone without my teacher sitting beside me. All the responsibilities were handed or transferred over to me. Would I be a good driver? Now that the family therapist signed me out, I could no longer come to her and seek counsel. Would I be a better parent to my kids? 

All of us go through a period in our lives that change us entirely. We feel sad of the painful past and what it has done to us, afraid to move forward in the future and insecure of what lies ahead. The disciples of Jesus had those feelings. When Jesus died on the cross, even after 3 years of training and living with Him, they were not prepared to go through this painful meaningless death on the cross. They doubted if everything was just a waste; afraid that same thing would happen to them as well, devastated for seeing the death of someone they love very much. They felt powerless to do anything at all. Jesus hanging on the cross, like a common criminal, was meaningless for them at that time. He didn’t do anything wrong, on the contrary, did everything that was good and taught everything about love. He was paying for a crime he didn’t commit. 

Yes, it’s over. But there’s a new beginning coming. A new dawn, a promise of something better. That’s life; like the changing of seasons and time, when one season ends, another begins. There’s nothing much to do but move on and face life with great anticipation. Because that is the promise of the whole Lenten season and the passion of Christ – that Easter morning, when everything would be renewed by the power of God. 

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