October 15, the Catholic Church is celebrating the feast of St. Teresa of Avila. She is proclaimed as one of the Doctors of the Church. And one of her famous writings, she wrote: “Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things. Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.”
Worry means, according to dictionaries, a feeling of anxiety or unhappiness or fear about something that might happen. It is a state or feeling that is caused by thinking about a future event. It is an innate ability to protect life; a natural human instinct or mechanism to defend itself for survival.
We can worry about many things: our health, our finances, our relationships, the future and well-being of our children, families, friends and loved ones, and so on. When your teenage child, does not come home in time and you have not received any phone call or text, you worry about your child. When you could feel something off in your body or felt some lump inside your body, you worry about your health. When your boss announces that the company is not doing very well and that it might close, you worry about your job and your income.
There are some types of worries that might have some underlying issues that causes the worry. For instance, you can worry about what others might say or think about you (this can be an indication of low self-esteem). You might worry about what to wear because you want to be “cool” and trendy. You might be worried about failing. You might be worried about hurting someone else or yourself. Sometimes you cannot control your thoughts; worries and negative thoughts just come pouring in like rain.
The list of worries can be exceptionally long. Some are real or natural and they are not wrong. Some can be helpful, (like asking your friend how he or she is doing or if everything is ok; or to prevent us from doing stupid things that could be destructive) most worries are destructive. They could rob our peace of mind, joy, determination, motivation and clarity of purpose or goal.
Worry, whether true or imagined, is still worry. It is an outcome of our own thought patterns or mindset. Sometimes, it is caused by illness. In this case, we need professional help and/or medication.
In St. Paul’s letter to the Philippians 4:6, we read: “Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have.”
We all know that worry does not help. And yet we do it! It is easier said, “not to worry” than doing it. But I offer you three advices, we all can do to help us minimize the worries.
First, know the facts and do not assume. Most worries are based on assumptions. Many times, they do not have any truths or facts about the assumed future event. So dig in and search for facts.
Second advice, accept that feeling and acknowledge it. Denying our “gut feeling” is denying our very selves. Acknowledge that feeling of being worried and understand as much as you can. Find out where it is coming from. Could it be from some past experiences or traumas?
Third, use it as a catalyst to change the outcome and to create a better state of life. If there is a problem, then find the solution. Better yet, make it as an opportunity to grow and improve.
Some other pointers, we can use:
“Do not worry” means do not dwell in the feeling. Instead, use your brain for logical thinking and seek the truth. When you are confronted by worries, then get the facts instead of assuming things. Call your child and ask how he or she is. Call the doctor to get a check-up. Use your time to evaluate your life and other opportunities. If necessary, reach out for help.
“Do not worry” means change your thought patterns. Thoughts bring about feelings; and feelings magnify thoughts. It is a cycle. If you think negatively about something, then you will feel negatively about that very thing that you think about. The same thing happens that if you felt negative about something or someone, you will think something negative about that thing or someone. And the cycle goes on and on; bigger and bigger until worry consumes all of you.
“Do not worry” means to trust and to surrender. Worry makes us ask for something, usually the improved outcome. So, we ask and let it go; trusting that what we prayed for is received. Look beyond your feelings or worries and see the beauty of what is promised. “Ask and you shall receive.” Now, we only need to relax as we go about living our lives.
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